


O Captain! My Captain!

by missdibley



Series: The Red Nose Diaries [58]
Category: British Actor RPF, Kong: Skull Island (2017), Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Existing Relationship, F/M, Kong: Skull Island - Freeform, Phone Sex, role play, rough phone sex, the red nose diaries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-18
Updated: 2016-11-18
Packaged: 2018-08-31 15:07:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8583043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missdibley/pseuds/missdibley
Summary: The morning after his all too brief appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live! to introduce the new trailer for Kong: Skull Island, Tom gets a nice wake-up call.





	

“Did I wake you?”

“I was waiting for you to call.”

“Why wasn’t it a sit on the couch and make awkward chatter kind of situation? This was like a dine-and-dash.”

“There’ll be time for a proper appearance in the spring. Closer to the, ahem, release.”

“I’ll bet!”

“What?”

“Release? Please, Tom. Why not say something like, **_Come_** _the spring, when I plan to_ ** _thrust_** Kong: Skull Island _into the public consciousness through_ ** _relentless, non-stop_** _promotion,_ ** _penetrating_** _interviews, and…”_

“ **Hard-driving** journalism that goes  **deeper** than anybody’s ever gotten before?”

“Bwahahahahahaha!” “Eheheheheheheh.”

“Baby, I thought I was supposed to be the one winding you up.”

“Were you now?”

“I had it all planned out.”

“You had this planned?”

“Well, yes, but it’s not like I made a flowchart.”

“But you wanted to.”

“Hush.”

“So you were saying.”

“Yeah… I was gonna call you.”

“So you’ve done that. And then?”

“I’d ask if I had woken you up.”

“And I’d say…”

“You’d say,  _ Why yes, darling, I’ve been up since dawn. I’ve run five miles, drank three espressos, and recited the St. Crispin’s Day speech to my reflection in the mirror.” _

…

“I take it by your silence that I nailed it.”

“It wasn’t the St. Crispin’s Day speech. This time.”

“Bwahahahahahahahhahahahaha!”

“You’d do well to cast your oh-so-critical eye inwards, madam. You are also a creature of habit.”

“Excuse me?”

“In the morning, you always pretend to be asleep when I return from my run so you don’t have to make the coffee.”

“Pretend? Who’s pretending?”

“Carmen, please.”

“Besides, you’re better at making it than I am.”

“Hmph.”

“Anyway, we’ve been derailed. Okay, so… hi, hello, flirting, bickering… we really need to come up with a word to describe it.”

“Describe what?”

“The thing we do. The way we talk to each other.”

“Does it need a word?”

“Fighting whilst flirting. Flighting? Flickering? Birting?”

“What did you say about being derailed?”

“Okay, let’s go with birting.”

“I shake my head at you.”

“Okay, so we birt. I make my usual witty, pithy remark about your latest appearance or whatever.”

“You make fun of me.”

“I do not!”

“Carmen, please don’t insult…”

“Think of it as tough love, baby.”

“Harumph.”

“You’re such an old man.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that. My ear trumpet isn’t working.”

“We birt, you make some innuendoes that get me all hot and bothered, and then you get hot and bothered because  _ I’m _ all hot and bothered.”

“And then we hang up, and go about our business.”

“That’s right.”

“What time is it there, Button?”

“About half past three.”

“And you’re at the office?”

“Yes, Tom.”

“Are you alone?”

“What are you getting at?”

“I wonder, could you go about your business? Now? With me?”

“You want me to send you some wireframes to review?”

“That’s not quite the business I had in mind.”

“Oh.”

“Oh.”

“Sure, let me shut the door.”

“Sure.”

“Okay. There we go.”

“Ready, Carmen?”

“Yes,  _ Thomas.” _

“Talk to me.”

“Okay.”

“Thank you.”

“Ready?”

“Yes, love.”

“So, I have a confession.”

“What did you do?”

“It’s nothing I did. I…”

“What is it, darling?”

“I’ve been wet for you all morning, Tom.”

“So much for starting off slow.”

“It was the suit.”

“Which…?”

“The gorilla suit.”

“That suit?!”

“Yes.”

“Funny, you never mentioned being into furries before.”

“Shut up, it wasn’t that.”

“Wasn’t it?”

“It was… when you ripped the head off. Your cheeks were flushed, and you had this look on your face. And your hair! It was sticky-outy and floofy. I just wanted to run my fingers through it. And then when you did it, I thought…”

“What did you think?”

“It was… I just thought, you must have been so hot, you know. The suit, those studio lights.”

“It was heavy, too.”

“I bet you couldn’t wait to take it off.”

“It took some doing.”

“Did you need help with that?”

“Yes.”

“A buxom nubile wardrobe mistress with a measuring tape tied around her thigh?”

“It was a very nice older gentleman named Nestor.”

“If I’d been there. Gone with you. Just for the week. I would have watched from the green room, greeted you with a hug when you got back. De-aped, but still a bit sweaty.”

“What else?”

“I would lock the door.”

“Whatever for?”

“For the interrogation. Captain Conrad.”

“I see.”

“Yeah?”

“I do.”

“But what could you make me do, make me say, with nothing but your bare hands?”

_ “Fuck.” _

“Not yet, baby.”

“Twenty questions.”

“I’m sure I’d know none of the answers.”

“For every question you’d refuse to answer…”

“What would you do?”

“Tear at your blouse. Pull on your hair.”

“Is that all?”

“I’d slap you. Across the face.”

_ “Oh fuck.” _

“But you just laugh at me. You toy with me. Fuck with my head. But you don’t break.”

“Never.”

“And I’m so hard.”

“God, yes.”

“That’s when I notice you looking at me. Licking your lips.”

“How do you want me?”

“On your knees, brat.”

“Yes.”

“Hands behind your back.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Tits out.”

“Oh god.”

“I just keep looking at your mouth. You’re panting, licking your lips.”

“But I don’t say a word.”

“Good girl.”

“The best.”

“I give you one of my thumbs to suck.”

“Jesus!”

“I can feel your tongue, quivering under my thumb. Waiting”

“What are we waiting for?”

“For my other hand to unbutton my fly. Push my trousers down.”

“Oh…”

“When I relax my thumb, that’s when you start. It’s so messy and wet. You’re sucking and licking, swirling that tongue of yours.”

“Please, Captain. Give…”

“No no no no. Patience, Button. I take away my thumb…”

“Please don’t.”

“Push in some fingers. Slowly, though, so you can lick them. Make them slick, then I pull them out as you suck on them. I grab my cock, and I stroke.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Can I…?”

“Yes. You can. But not all at once.”

“But I want…”

“Greedy.”

“A kiss.”

“Yes, darling…”

“Just a soft press of my lips to the head. Followed by a lick at the slit. A swirl over the head, and then I’m flicking just underneath.”

“Your eyelids flutter, quickly and then slowly until your eyes close. I give you more, listen to your moaning and our breathing.

“I want more.”

“Filthy girl.”

“You cup the side of my face, slowly stroke my jaw. It helps me relax. I can suck longer, harder. Swallow. Take you deeper.”

“Oh fuck me…”

“Yes…”

“I want to come.”

“I know you do.”

“Soon…”

“Where?”

“Wha…”

“On my tits. Or my face.”

“FUCK.”

“Come on baby…”

“Ugh.”

“I want you inside me.”

“Yes.”

“I want you to come inside me.”

“I pull out of your sweet mouth, then help you to your feet.”

“Not on the floor?”

“Against the wall.”

“YES.”

“I turn you around, press against you. Can you feel that? My cock pressing up to your ass? It’s for you.”

“Thank you, baby.”

“Your face is turned to the side, so you can look at me while I stand behind you.”

“Hold me down.”

“Yes.”

“Don’t let go.”

“Never. And you’re so wet, just dripping. I can feel it on my hand when I yank your panties to the side. I can smell you.”

‘Oh yes…”

“And then I wrap an arm around you, over your hip and belly, so I can finger your clit.”

“Shit.”

“My cock is hard, so hard as it rubs up and down your pussy. Your legs are close together, so I’m just between, fucking your fat thighs.”

“Please…”

“My dick keeps brushing your clit, and I’m still fingering you. Before you can scream… I put my other hand over your mouth.”

_ “Ohmygod.” _

“I keep it there when I finally push inside you. My cock so hard, and you so wet and warm and FUCK!”

“Yes…”

“Just like that. I can hear you, your lips moving against my palm. Your little noises.”

“Fuck me.”

“Slowly. Barely moving. But you’re so wet. And you’re holding onto me from the inside.”

“You feel so good, baby.”

“Yes.”

“But I want you harder. Faster.”

“Yes.”

“Deeper.”

“Yes.”

“Fuck me. Oh god…”

“I just fuck you, harder and faster. Your hair gets in my face when I lean over kiss the nape of your neck. Bite your shoulder.”

“YES.”

“And I can feel it start. You start to move against me. You’re wild, losing control, but I still hold on. But I’m about to come, too, and I want to come with you, but I can’t stop…”

“Don’t.”

“I keep…”

“Yes.”

“Yes. Fuck… ugh. I… I’m…”

“Yeah… yeah… fuck. Fuck. Fuck me! Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck… yes!”

“Ugh. Yes… fuck. UGH. Shit! Yes. Oh fuck. Oh…”

“Yes. Oooh. Fuuuuuck. Shi.. oh god.”

“Mmmmmmmmmm.”

“Oh.”

…

…

“Fuck.”

“Well,  _ shit.” _

“Are you okay, love?”

“That… that did not go the way I thought it would.”

“Is that…?”

“That was. So good.”

“Are you alright?”

“I… yeah. Jelly legs.”

“Oh Button…”

“Good thing I was sitting down.”

“I’m still in bed.”

“Good. I’d hate to think you were at a breakfast meeting.”

“Oh no!”

“I can see it now. You and Olly sitting in a dining room at, like, The Ritz-Carlton. Damask tablecloths. Organic eggs Benedict, and Goldie Hawn trying to catch your eye with her deeply suntanned cleavage.”

“A charming scene.”

“And then… ‘Hold on, let me just take this call.’”

“Poor Olly!”

“But Olly, being in possession of good comic timing, would merely flag down a waiter, nod at you, and quip…”

[“I’ll have what he’s having.”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9-PjBTn7Ec#t=0m43s)

“That’s my boy.”

“I love you, Carmen.”

“I love you, too.”


End file.
